Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
