It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
