My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
