just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
