No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
