So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
