the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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