I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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