dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
