hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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