So drunk its hurt
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
