goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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