i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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