Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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