There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
