Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
