you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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