The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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