ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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