i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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