Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
