okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
