For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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