If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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