Small penises have feelings too.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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