why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
