so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
