You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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