Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
