is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
