I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
