If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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