question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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