I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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