stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
