There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
