Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
