I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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