And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
