needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
