I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
