i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we're making bets on your personal life
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
