Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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