just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
