dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
