So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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