Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
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