i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
