do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
