Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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